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Shipping & delivery
This item will be posted to you by Fergusart within 3 days of receiving payment.
| Shipping destination | Cost | Additional items |
|---|---|---|
| United Kingdom | £15.00 | £5.00 |
| EU & Northern Ireland | Doesn't deliver here | |
| United States | Doesn't deliver here | |
| Rest of the World | Doesn't deliver here | |
You have 14 days, from receipt, to notify the seller if you wish to cancel your order or exchange an item.
Unless faulty, the following types of items are non-refundable: items that are personalised, bespoke or made-to-order to your specific requirements; items which deteriorate quickly (e.g. food), personal items sold with a hygiene seal (cosmetics, underwear) in instances where the seal is broken; digital items.
Please note that if your order is being posted outside mainland UK, you (or the recipient) may have to pay customs or VAT charges and a handling fee. The seller is not responsible for any charges or fees that may incur.
Full description
These staffs are green!
Forest Green.
They are five feet in length and they have had a double slobbering of linseed oil.
I am quite the slobberer, old man stuff.
I never get invited anywhere so I just walk in the woods, alone and slobbering.
The grain on these is dramatic and to protect their tips, they have been affixed with a rubber ferrule, as have I.
That allows you to sneak up on potential miscreants and the last thing they will ever smell is linseed oil, as they themselves with subsequently smell of.
It saves paying for an embalmer.
If it is simply a walking aid that you crave, stride out, breathe deeply and take a jump to the left.
Unless you are on the north west ridge.
Respect.
Designed by Jock Ferguson
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